Sunrise Doesn’t Last all Morning

Last night I went to an extended family reunion. Colin Hanks and Sean Stuart's documentary All Things Must Pass: The Rise and Fall of Tower Records, kicked off the Sacramento Film Festival, appropriately enough, at the Tower Theatre, the site of where it all began, in Clayton Solomon's drugstore. It may sound like the stuff of legends, but it's true. Tower Records/Video/Books founder Russ Solomon built a $1 billion international empire from a card table in a Sacramento drug store where he sold used 45 RPM records from jukeboxes.

The filmmakers, who now live in L.A., grew up in Sacramento. They hung out at Tower like most of their friends, but had no idea how the company came to be. It wasn't until after the 2006 demise, that Hanks had a friend tell him about the company starting in a drugstore and thought, "Now that's a story." So began his quest to get that story on film.

Watching the history, from humble beginning to heart-wrenching end, of the place I spent my formative years was emotional to say the least. I was 22 when I walked into the bookstore that used to be on Macy Plaza Drive in Citrus Heights and filled out a paper application (remember those?) Twenty-two years later, it was all over. But I don't for a second regret staying until the bitter end. I grew up on that ship; it was only right to go down with it, surrounded by the people who had become family.

Last night was surreal at times, catching up with friends, looking around at familiar faces I hadn't seen in a decade or more, riffling through the mental rolodex to come up with a name, and feeling an energy that's very difficult to describe. We've all obviously gotten older, but nostalgia and pride are a powerful combination and I'll bet every one of us lifers was remembering what it felt like to be a twenty-something newbie realizing that we'd just landed the coolest job ever.

Hanks and Stuart were at the after-event, allowing us to meet and talk to them. I was able to introduce myself to Hanks and thank him for telling our story. At the end of the Q & A after the film, Hanks told the crowd he hoped they'd one right by us. I assured him that they had. I also got to chat with Russ for a bit. At 89, he's still as sharp as ever and still maintains that it was us, the "kids in the stores," who made Tower successful. That's true. But it was his vision that allowed us to avoid getting boring grown-up jobs and get paid to have fun doing something we loved. I'm forever grateful to have been a part of that amazing story. And while it's true that all things must indeed pass, some will live in our hearts forever.

So Vain

I almost got sucked in by a vanity press...actually I did, because I not only sent them my manuscript, I asked for an author agreement when they told me my novel had been approved by the submission committee. The agreement looked great, laying out step by step all the great things they'd do to promote my book – even more in detail than in the author packet they sent. They'd convert it to an e-book, but I'd get hard copies too! It would be available to Amazon and Ingram, and they'd give me my own web page on their site and help me manage social media! This was it – it was really happening. 

So I was riding high for a few hours, thinking I'd actually found a publisher, and then, there it was, line item #10, the amount of money I'd have to shell out for said publisher to do all those great things. I was pretty miffed because the subject of "author contribution" had never come up in email or phone conversations, and wasn't even hinted at in the author packet. I had a few hours (okay, days) of righteous indignation, feeling like they were trying to hide what kind of publisher they are (how dare they!) Then I realized why I was so irked. I should have known that it just wasn't going to work like that. An email, a phone call, a publisher. Nope, it just doesn't happen like that. And of course, I should have asked up front if I'd be expected to pay. After all, I spent 22 years in the book business. But, I didn't...this little voice was whispering that I'd done it – I was about to get published. My ego was driving and we were off at full speed. Guess that's why we call them vanity presses...

Ego plus art is an interesting combination; a symbiotic relationship. They drive each other, feed off of each other, but ultimately must find a way to (somewhat) peacefully co-exist. My goal from the beginning was finishing the book – I needed to see if I could. I had no delusions of making any money and hadn't even thought that much about being published. It was about getting. It. Written. But once I did, and started thinking, well, why not see if I can get it published, ego jumped into the driver's seat and away we went. The wonderfully witty and wise Anne Lamott thinks of being published as something you have to recover from. I'm still pondering that, while my ego and my creativity square off. Will my book get published? Dunno. I will keep writing though...thanks, Anne.