So Vain

I almost got sucked in by a vanity press...actually I did, because I not only sent them my manuscript, I asked for an author agreement when they told me my novel had been approved by the submission committee. The agreement looked great, laying out step by step all the great things they'd do to promote my book – even more in detail than in the author packet they sent. They'd convert it to an e-book, but I'd get hard copies too! It would be available to Amazon and Ingram, and they'd give me my own web page on their site and help me manage social media! This was it – it was really happening. 

So I was riding high for a few hours, thinking I'd actually found a publisher, and then, there it was, line item #10, the amount of money I'd have to shell out for said publisher to do all those great things. I was pretty miffed because the subject of "author contribution" had never come up in email or phone conversations, and wasn't even hinted at in the author packet. I had a few hours (okay, days) of righteous indignation, feeling like they were trying to hide what kind of publisher they are (how dare they!) Then I realized why I was so irked. I should have known that it just wasn't going to work like that. An email, a phone call, a publisher. Nope, it just doesn't happen like that. And of course, I should have asked up front if I'd be expected to pay. After all, I spent 22 years in the book business. But, I didn't...this little voice was whispering that I'd done it – I was about to get published. My ego was driving and we were off at full speed. Guess that's why we call them vanity presses...

Ego plus art is an interesting combination; a symbiotic relationship. They drive each other, feed off of each other, but ultimately must find a way to (somewhat) peacefully co-exist. My goal from the beginning was finishing the book – I needed to see if I could. I had no delusions of making any money and hadn't even thought that much about being published. It was about getting. It. Written. But once I did, and started thinking, well, why not see if I can get it published, ego jumped into the driver's seat and away we went. The wonderfully witty and wise Anne Lamott thinks of being published as something you have to recover from. I'm still pondering that, while my ego and my creativity square off. Will my book get published? Dunno. I will keep writing though...thanks, Anne.

Say the Word

True language geek that I am, I can't resist quizzes like this one, that test our knowledge of new words and phrases. I've always been fascinated by the evolution of language and new terms showing up in songs and movies, but thanks to Twitter and the like, things are changing more quickly than ever. One celebrity tweet or vine can instantly make a given word take off. Others rise and fade so quickly they nearly go unnoticed. Why do some words hang around long enough to make it into the OED and others disappear in days? What's the difference between permanently cool and oh so five minutes ago? That's part of the fun. Full disclosure: I took the quiz and missed three. Can I claim a disadvantage because I don’t have a teenager in the house?

This NPR story caught my eye for obvious reasons, including the use of "Old-Timey" in the headline, one term that still grates on me. (Apparently I'm in the minority though; Microsoft Word doesn't flag is as a misspelling. Really?? And yes, I'm fascinated by slang, but I don't have to like all of it, right?) Then there's the notion that the actual idea of slang is passé. I suppose that makes some sense, given the flood of words we now have that would give Miss Leslie fits, but I tend to agree with Professor Adams. Slang does exist, and doesn't happen by accident. Humans have been developing what could be described as slang terms since we first formed tribes. What better way to solidify a group identity? Anyone who created a "secret" language with a friend can relate. I feel for future linguists trying to make sense of this time period though; just trying to interpret Twitter alone will leave them rekt.

About a Book

High Fidelity was my introduction to Nick Hornby, and I've been hooked ever since. Besides the fact that the story and characters are so incredibly Tower-esque it's spooky, there's something endearing about their flaws and vulnerabilities. That's one of Hornby's great strengths: creating believable characters whose weaknesses hold up a mirror to our own, but stop short of making us squirm. Record store manager Rob from High Fidelity. Would-be single dad Will from About a Boy. Once brilliant songwriter turned recluse Tucker, from Juliet, Naked. Each has his own delightful quirks.

His latest effort, Funny Girl, which takes place in 1960s England, introduces us to Barbara Parker, a reluctant beauty queen who would rather make people laugh, like her heroine Lucille Ball. After moving to London and finding an agent, she becomes Sophie Straw and lands the lead role in a new comedy series that turns her into a star. With the writers, producer and her co-star, Sophie discovers the joys of working toward a common goal while becoming a family of sorts along the way (yet another thing that felt Tower-like to me). Of course nothing lasts forever, no matter how badly you want it to, and Sophie and her TV family eventually realize the show has run its course and they must figure out what comes next.

Another wonderful thing about a Hornby novel is going along for the ride as his characters go about figuring out what comes next. We get to witness their missteps, well-meaning but misguided attempts to get things right and share their victories when they do. Funny Girl is as sweet, charming and funny as the title character herself.  

Trial by Fire

Much has been written about how good it feels to push yourself and test your limits, physically, mentally and creatively. I tend to agree, whether I'm doing a January de-tox, a new Daily Burn routine, or accepting a freelance job with a tight turn-around time. I just completed such a gig, an article for Yuba-Sutter Community Magazine...in 3 ½ days. And, it actually wasn't that difficult. It was easy to say yes, especially to the publisher of the mag, who is a good friend. It was easy to come up with a brief outline after reading the parameters and doing a little research. It was also easy to have the inevitable "How the hell am I going to do this??" freak out Friday evening as I looked at my very brief outline and thought about how quickly the Monday deadline was approaching.

But as I started to write, I found the words, the article took shape, and pretty soon I had a decent first draft. After a little more research and some fact-checking, I was on my way to the finished draft. Could it be that seven years of copywriting have done more than I realized to expand my skillset? Between skin care articles, press releases, and email copy, apparently so. Writers get better by writing is the simple truth. I'm not sure I'll ever face an empty page without at least a little doubt, but the time between wondering how I'm going to pull it off and hitting the final "save" is definitely decreasing. Of course I still have to admit that pushing myself sounds like a good idea after the fact...

Sooner or Later

The dictionary definition of procrastination (proh-kras-tuh-ney-shuhn):

n. the act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention.

My personal definition:

n. the things I do instead of sending out more agent pitch letters, even though I really want to land an agent, and ultimately, a book deal.

I could make all sorts of excuses, like my new exercise schedule, my determination to get enough sleep, a friend sending me his novel that I want to read every spare moment I can find. But if I really want to get my novel out there, I need to send more pitch letters.

So what gives? Is it just a part of human nature to put things off and not only give in to distractions but actually seek them out? A favorite college professor once told me that to avoid grading papers one evening, she had cleaned and sharpened every pair of scissors in the house. Since then I've thought of active procrastination as "sharpening scissors." I find it creeping into my work day too (I know, shocking). Write a press release about a new brand? Sure...right after I organize my new cubicle, update my calendar, go through the files from my old desk and separate what gets recycled from what gets shredded...the list goes on.

According to Psychology Today, at least 20% of us chronically avoid what we don't want to do and deliberately look for distractions. And while the tendency to put things off is indeed part of our very nature, attitudes about it vary greatly by culture. The French nobility becoming a leisure class and distaining work created an attitude that reaches into the present, as the call for an International Procrastination Day illustrates. And anyone who has visited Hawaii has encountered "Island Time."

Is it our Protestant Work Ethic/American "Get 'er done" attitude that makes procrastination a bad thing? Perhaps it's just a matter of balance and I should make a deal with myself: One chapter of my friend's book for each pitch letter I send. Seems reasonable; I'll get on that. Right after I brush the cats...

Brand New Day

Although I understand the inclination to start a new calendar year with a new plan, I've never been one to make resolutions. There's nothing wrong with specific goals concerning diet, exercise, creative output, etc., but I don't like to stuff all of that into the beginning of January and hit start. I'd rather take some time to think about my intentions for the coming block of time we label a 'year.' How do I want to feel? What do I want to happen over the next twelve months?

Of course it's easy to get carried away, over-promise and take on too much...I'll do Daily Burn every day, and write a blog post every day, AND send out pitch letters every week...uh yeah...maybe I'll start will realistic goals. I do want to continue to make time to write, which means making space for the muse, who as any artist knows, will show up when (s)he damn well pleases.

Looking at the blank slate of the first month of the coming new year, I'm setting the following intentions:

·         Listen more than talk

·         Make time and space for the muse

·         Observe rather than react

·         Make more time for friends and family

·         Celebrate more

Resolutions need to be kept or we've failed. Intentions can be meditated upon and unfolded as we move through time. The empty page of a new year simmers with possibilities and shines with unlimited potential. 2015, bring it.

Everybody’s Talkin’

As much as I like to joke about the devolving of language being a sign of the coming apocalypse, I have to admit that I'm fascinated by slang. Typing that sentence made me think I should look into the source of the word itself. A quick search of a few online dictionaries revealed that the origin is uncertain, but I did run across a great quote by Carl Sandburg: "Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work." I'm inclined to agree; sometimes, the perfect word is an informal one.

OxfordDictionaries.com's recent quarterly update resulted in about 1000 new terms, including abbreviations and acronyms. So where do these new words come from? What makes a given term come into popular use over another? Social media is obviously the chief instrument in the perpetuation of new slang, but why do certain words become so popular? Do they show up in song lyrics? Celebrity tweets?

Here's a partial list of some of my favorite new additions:

Al desko: Adjective and adverb. Food eaten at one's desk in an office. I've done this way too much lately.

Crony Capitalism: Noun. An economic system characterized by close, mutually advantageous relationships between business leaders and government officials. Did it really take this long to be recognized?

Five-second rule: Noun. A notional rule stating that food which has been dropped on the ground will still be uncontaminated and therefore safe to eat if it is retrieved within five seconds. Again, I thought this one would have been recognized years ago.

MAMIL: Noun. Middle-aged Man in Lycra. A very keen road cyclist, typically one who rides an expensive bike and wears the type of clothing associated with professional cyclists. Anyone who has been on the American River Bike Trail has seen these creatures.

Here are a few I could do without:

Duck face: Noun. An exaggerated pouting expression in which the lips are thrust outwards, typically made by a person posing for a photograph. No. Comment.

Tomoz: Adverb. An abbreviation of 'tomorrow.' You're seriously too busy (or lazy) for that extra syllable?

Xlnt: Adjective. An abbreviation of 'excellent.' Buy a vowel. PLEASE.

I don't necessarily want to see slang creeping into formal communication, and I'm well aware of the fact that the reading level of the average daily newspaper has fallen to about sixth grade, but slang is fun. Language is a living, evolving thing, endlessly fascinating to the word nerds among us.