Opposites Attract

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Even with as little time as I spend on social media and my active avoidance of the news, I still encounter an insane amount of random bits of information online. It really shouldn't be surprising, given the research rabbit holes I routinely fall into, but still—there's so much.

Fortunately, enough of those random bits delight my word nerd heart, like discovering a list of contronyms. Merriam-Webster.com defines contronym as a word having two meanings that contradict one another, such as bolt, which can mean to secure or to flee, and cleave, which can mean to adhere or to separate. Contronyms are also know as antagonyms, autoantonyms, or Janus words, so named for the two-faced Roman god of doors, gates, and transitions. Even more word nerd delight—a definition that leads to another rabbit hole!

Here are a few more words with contradictory definitions:

1. Apology: a statement of contrition for an act, or a defiance of one
2. Bound: heading for a destination, or restrained from movement
3. Dust: to add fine particles, or to remove them
4. Fast: Quick or stuck or made stable
5. Left: remained or departed
6. Peer: a person of nobility or an equal
7. Sanction: to approve or to boycott
8. Weather: to withstand or to wear away

Fun stuff, and enough to keep me entertained, and yes, distracted, when I should be writing, or at least doing research to lend whatever I'm working on an air of authenticity. Which feels like my own form of contradiction, as I try to power through without getting distracted while wanting to keep finding those gems of word nerdiness. Guess that's just the Janus nature of my writer brain.

The Inner Light

 

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"Nothing is matter-of-fact for a writer. Everything is a matter of life." – Danielle LaPorte

Long before I thought of myself as a writer, I knew on a gut level that writing is the introvert's way of making sense of the world. Before I knew the why behind anything I attempted to write, or gained anything resembling the confidence to share my work, I instinctively knew that putting pen to paper would help me process events large and small as they unfolded around me. The path from "I enjoy writing" to "I am a writer" was anything but linear, but I now understand that I traversed it exactly as I needed to.

From writing ad and web copy for day jobs, to freelancing, to finally getting serious enough about my own work to publish a novel, each step happened in the order it needed to. And despite advice from stacks of books and people who wrote for a living, it was a path I needed to travel on my own.

The brilliant Danielle LaPorte says our life is our content, which is true for everyone, introverts and extroverts alike. Artists of all stripes pull from their experiences to put forth their creative endeavors and express themselves with words, music, or visual arts. But writers quietly observe what goes on around us, carefully choosing the right words to illustrate events and convey, in the best—and sometimes only—way we can, the feelings that result.

In a world that grows louder and moves faster seemingly every day, writers side-step the noise and, from their solitary vantage points, put the pieces together. The observations may not be earth-shattering, the events not fascinating, but it doesn’t matter—the stuff of everyday life makes the best stories.

Memories, Dreams, Reflections

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"I would find myself laughing and wondering where these ideas came from. You can call it imagination, I suppose. But I was grateful for wherever they came from." – Amy Tan

I recently watched Amy Tan's Master Class, Fiction, Memory and Imagination. (Yes, here's yet another mention of Master Class, and yes, I still think it's worth the price of admission and then some). And while I'm not necessarily inclined to write the type of fiction that has earned Ms. Tan a huge number of literary prizes and acclaim as one of the most successful contemporary fiction writers of her time (my forays into anything resembling biography tend to be brief), I learned plenty from the class.

Whether we're writing about cultural and familial traditions or not, the emotions attached to our memories can be a powerful force in the creation of a story. In fact, those emotions help make our stories ring true. Fiction, by definition is not true, of course, but it must be grounded in reality to resonate with the reader. Amy Tan said, "Fiction is actually one of the best ways for finding truth." I've absolutely discovered that to be so as I've found my voice as a writer.

No matter what kind of story we're driven to share, we'll connect with readers if we start with the emotions behind said story. And the deeper the emotions, the more charged the connection. Researchers have discovered that our memories of traumatic or dramatic events—often referred to as 'flashbulb memories'—are hardwired in our brains and therefore tend to be more reliable than happy memories, which contain more sensory details. Those memories, rooted in our senses, often seem more positive in retrospect. We can actually change memories by how we talk about past experiences and with the words we use to describe them, making the warm and fuzzy even more so.

Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, upon deciding to tell his life's story at the age of 84, framed the events of his life and work with the emotions of his inner world. To Jung, the psyche was a profound reality. "Nights through dreams tell the myths forgotten by the day," is my favorite of his quotes.

Creative types talk about our muses quite a bit. Ethereal beings aside, what is a muse if not imagination steeped in memory with a healthy does of creativity? And the stories summoned are reflections of our personal myths, our memories, our dreams. 

I am From...

                                            
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...a little town in the mountains of Southern California. I carry with me a nostalgia for quiet streets, neighbors who feel like family, and snow on Christmas Eve.

My childhood was made of climbing trees, building forts in vacant lots, snowball fights, bike rides all over the neighborhood, and stories in front of the fireplace.

I left that small town, but carry the best of it within me.

I am from...

...parents who taught me the importance of keeping my word, to believe in myself, and that kindness matters.

Throughout my life, I've called upon the lessons they taught me. I haven't always acted as they would want me to, but I've built upon their foundation as I slowly figure out who I am and who I want to be.

I am from...

...grandparents who were total bad-asses. My grandmother held her family together when Germany occupied Belgium and she, my grandfather, and my little six-year-old mommy moved into their cellar. Each time my grandfather left, she didn't know if he'd come back. Yet she made living in the cellar as normal as possible for my mother.

Near the end of the war, my grandfather was captured by German soldiers, and on his way to being worked to death in a German factory. With steely resolve and ice water in his veins, he saw one chance to escape, took it, and lived to tell.

I am from...

...the combination of my genetic material, behaviors that were modeled, and a drive to live up to what came before.

From A to Z

 

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As illustrated by the lack of recent posts, I've had nothing to say as of late. Like, literally, nothing. I’m beginning to wonder if I should file a missing person report:

Missing: One Muse, last seen in October. Fairy wings and a mischievous smile. Prone to appearing and disappearing at will.

Silliness aside, I started thinking about the wondrous, elusive, addictive, and maddening process that is writing. Where, exactly, do ideas come from? And what is it that compels us to capture those ideas in writing and share them?

Humans are storytellers, and while it might be tempting to imagine we developed a system of symbols to preserve our stories, that's no more than a romantic notion. The truth behind the development of writing is more mundane. In ancient Mesopotamia, the Sumerians and the Akkadians lived in the same region, but spoke completely different languages. In order to do business, they needed to keep reliable records. The oldest examples of writing found are clay tablets with inscriptions believed to represent sacks of grain and heads of cattle.[1]

Perhaps it's even more amazing then, that we took those ancient symbols created to keep agricultural records and morphed them into a way not only to pass traditional stories along to future generations, but also to create and share new stories.

From the first alphabet, a cuneiform script, developed in the 14^th century B.C. in Syria,[2] to Johann Gutenberg's mechanization of printing in 1440,[3] modern writers owe a debt of gratitude to our predecessors who saw the possibilities in clay tablets and movable type. Shouldn't we do right by them and keep it up?

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[1] Georges Jean, Writing: The Story of Alphabets and Scripts, (Abrams, 1992), 11-13

[2] Jean, Writing: The Story of Alphabets and Scripts, 52

[3] Jean, Writing: The Story of Alphabets and Scripts, 93

An Introvert Steps Out...of the Comfort Zone

 

A few months ago, in a moment of very atypical INFP behavior, I reached out to Capital Books, a lovely independent bookstore in downtown Sacramento to set up a book signing event. Said event took place yesterday, and I'm happy to report it was a success. It was also a lot of fun. The store holds their events in the Flamingo Lounge, an inviting space on the second floor with a picture window that overlooks K Street. It's the perfect space to sip tea and talk about books.

I organized literally hundreds of events at Tower, many with local authors, and a good number with big names, including favorites like Robert Crais and Sue Grafton. Just the idea of being on the other side of the table was a bit surreal. Even after the date was confirmed and I began promoting the event, it still sort of felt like I was talking about someone else's book signing.

Right before the owner (with whom I'd crossed paths many years ago at Tower) introduced me, I had a moment of, "Am I really doing this?? Who thought this was a good idea?" Then I took a breath, looked around the room, and saw the friendly (masked) faces of those who had come to support me, ranging from a childhood friend, to my Tower tribe, to my new work family. What an amazing feeling. I read an excerpt, then answered questions, and instead of freaking out over the fact that I was speaking in public, I realized I was just talking about a book with a room full of friends—right in the middle of my comfort zone.

It's been quite a while since my Tower days, and the road to finally finishing a book and getting it published was long and winding. But I did get there. And there has been no shortage of people rooting for me along the way. Getting a book published and having an event was certainly a dream come true, but staying connected with my tribe? Priceless.

Paperback Writer—for Real

I've been waiting SO freaking long to use this title in this way, and I finally can. I wrote a book. Then I edited, scrapped part of it, rewrote other parts, edited some more, and then it was finally done. And someone published it. Just typing those words is downright surreal. I've purchased thousands and thousands of books, as both reader and buyer, but to hold one in my hand, with my name on the cover, is completely mind-blowing. Telling people where they can buy my book is even more bizarre.

So now what? Good question. Now comes the phase that strikes terror into the soul of every introvert: self-promotion. A thing I am not even a little bit good at. Sure, I can crow about it on social media and tout it here, as I am doing. But what I should do is talk to the buyers at local bookstores and ask if they'd consider putting my title in their local authors section. I might also ask if they'd consider doing a book signing event. As the very thought of that makes me break into a cold sweat, my brain shrieks, "Why would they do that?? No one would show up!!"

And then I think about how many local authors I set up events for at Tower and realize it's not about how many people show up, or even how many books I sell (but yes, I DO want to sell books) it's about believing in the story enough to read through countless drafts, slog through every last edit, turn over the final version, and say, "Here it is. Here's this thing I conjured from my imagination." So, dear readers, here it is...